ED's just love to become all-consuming. I haven't been active with my ED for years...but it doesn't mean I don't still have the thoughts. I have them a lot, most days if I'm honest. I just don't act on them. I have a family though (husband & daughter) and can't restrict or turn full-fledged to my ED without them noticing quickly. It's hard, but recovery is worth it in so many respects.