That you for your reply, @Blueberrybook.

You ought to ne very proud of yourself for reaching a place of recovery, but I am sorry those maddening intrusive ED thoughts still plague you.

I am glad you have your husband and daughter as reasons to not listen to that " voice" and I admire your strength and positivity about recovery.

I am really struggling.

I have no social supports.

TW....negativity.

I just...at the moment feel better having given in to my ED today( just " had dinner" but it was just something " safe"...

I am not even trying.

I am near to being half a century old and terribly ashamed I have never reached a place of solid recovery despite being in tx so many times.

I feel like difficult " Borderline " brat.

I dread telling my pyschiatrist tomorrow that I ate next to nothing today.

Please..
If you are far younger than I, or even of you are a my age or older and also struggling, I implore you to seek help.

.. And thank you again @Blueberrybook