....i'd be owning a stable right about now, I guess.

I wish I could separate my head from the rest of me. That is NOT meant as a suicidal statement, but a frustrated one. I think it would be lovely to untwist my head and set it on a table somewhere, then go shopping or something until my dysfunctional brain decided to settle down and behave. Then I'd screw it back on and we'd all be happy again.

I'm exhausted. I'm stressed. I have a lot of loss going on in my life right now -- friends being dx'd with life-threatening illnesses, or worse, their kids having horrible illnesses, or worse, childhood friends dying on me. I am in deep weeds at work and I am on the verge of getting canned. I would look into FMLA and take some time off, but that's unpaid, and I have no savings, because I don't make enough to pay my bills, much less save anything. My med switch is going badly, I think. I could probably use a week in the ha-ha house, getting everything regulated, but I'm afraid if I call pdoc he'll just tell me I have plenty of reasons to be depressed and just to ride it out. (I'm not sure why I think that -- we are still fairly new to each other, but so far he's listened well.)

I just feel so damn bad, and it's affecting *everything,* and I can't let it, but I can't avoid letting it.