Honestly, I don't know what made me push it in the end other than after I got going (and got rid of my scale), I finally started feeling better (not about my body image) but physically I mean. I was so tired of barely being able to make it to class and my university campus was HUGE and the weather in TX well pretty hot & humid in that particular area. I started finding studying easier, but you know, it was slow progress, one step forward, 2 steps back, but I just also came to the realization that I would rather die than live the rest of my life that way. And really, yeah, bad as I have the thoughts and deal with the overexercise it's a cakewalk compared to my life back then. I just felt so strongly I couldn't go on that way. And then soon after recovery, I started grad school and met H, and that was a whirlwind, like I met him and within a week of knowing him felt I'd known him forever, we got engaged then married, it was a lot of stuff to really take my mind completely off the ED. I guess in my case, life started happening kind of at warp speed - soon a new house, pregnancy, a baby (yeah, you really don't have time to think about an ED when you've a baby with colic/clingy toddler/demanding preschooler). So maybe I got out of the habit of worrying over it, and the few short relapses I've had I reeled in quickly. I do NOT want my daughter to end up growing up insecure about her body image and seeing me constantly restricting/dieting when I don't need to diet, etc.

I'm sorry you are having trouble with your meal plan. Keep working at it though. You won't be perfect, but on the other hand you know what you need to do to get better. Recovery isn't always a bed of roses, but it brought a lot of good things into my life, namely my husband and my daughter. If you don't want to recover, then you have to also realize you are going to have to live the rest of your life a slave to the ED, and I don't know who the h*ll would want that?!

As far as the calories burned, yes, muddy, I think it could be nearly accurate (not 100% but a good ballpark). Especially given you are walking everywhere, the weather is warming up, you don't keep enough food down to maintain your weight even discounting the walking. Please be careful.