muddy, you need to be careful especially what with walking & in the heat (burns even more cal). You have got to start working towards small, do-able recovery goals. Maybe you can't stick to a meal plan 100% but maybe you do 50% one week, 75% the next and progress from there. When you CAN decrease the exercise, you really NEED to do it. Because you are getting yourself dug in even deeper. Do you want to still be living with this ED when you're 40, 50, 60+ years old (if you don't die from esphogeal, stomach cancer, ulcer perforations first). You still have time to turn things around and you know what you need to do. You just have to take it step by step. The hardest I found was the first month or two, things got better from there recovery wise. I am absolutely amazed at the rate you are going you have not suffered a heart attack and that no one sees fit to fast track you into ED treatment. If they won't treat you, then I KNOW you have the grit and determination to recover on your own or at least start towards it. I know because I did it at a very low weight, minimal psychiatric support (meds, some halfhearted counselling that did squat). But grit and determination goes a LONG LONG way. I am still amazed I managed a recovery from where I did without specialized ED treatment or a hospitalization for the ED (though maybe why I still deal with the thoughts). I'd urge you to LISTEN to your body, don't purge, fight that with all you've got. There is a good, productive life out there for you, maybe actually recovering enough to find a guy to date who's good for you, going back to school, but IT IS NOT easy. If it were, anorexia wouldn't have the highest mortality rate of all the mental illnesses out there.

And sometimes I do but wonder if the many overlapping mental disorders you are diagnosed with may in part be a case of overdiagnosis, muddying up your treatment. The ED is definitely one but the others; I have noticed SO many mental illnesses are on a bit of a continuum. It's like what came first the chicken or the egg? Could be some of the issues you have going on. Maybe not, but maybe so. If you're manic and not on a bipolar med, well, that can look like ADHD no? And sometimes responses to meds CAN be psychosomatic: meaning, you're convinced Adderall helps you sleep, you've been up over 24, 48 hr, you take Adderall, by then you're exhausted, you sleep. Whereas you figure, oh valium won't tire me out, you just stay awake during it (and tolerances build anyway whereby you're not sleepy on even higher doses). Benzos never made me sleepy anyway. I could be completely wrong, just food for thought.