I used to be adverse to putting anything into or on my body that wasn’t 100% natural. So I get it blue bird. But yeah that’s the illness trying to trick ya. I was on lamictal for years and no side effects except feeling flat. The flat feeling came after I’d been on it for years and I think was an indication I was stable enough not to need it anymore. I go up or down now but not in major highs or dips.