You bring up some interesting points I haven't thought of. I wonder what going back in time to rescue my old self would look like. Maybe, when I'm emotionally ready, writing a letter to my past self would help. Thinking about how there could have been an alternate timeline where I never got help is also something to think about. Or, one where I stopped taking my meds (I've been tempted to do this in the past when very depressed). Who knows how my life would have played out.

Sorry you also are looking at a summer where you might have a lot of lows throughout it.