I talked to a (probably my favorite) person on the ACT team for a bit and we met up and talked, and I'm calmer now. I just got really triggered because my mom's been begging to meet up like all week and there was a craft fair kinda between us (same time walking for me as her driving) so I figured we'd meet up and she gave me this look and was like "are you eating?"

Like, duh, I'm eating. Am I eating enough to sustain a healthy weight? No. But if I just wasn't eating (if we're assuming I'm mortal) I'd be dead. I'm trying, but every time I eat more than 3 things a day (pickles and drinks 5cal or less don't count though) or more than 6 bites at a time (or don't follow a whole bunch of other stupid pre/during/post meal practices) I want to somehow get waterproof fireworks and set them off from inside my stomach. 4th of July is coming up, that'd be one way to celebrate... Ever see that video where a guy sticks a roman candle up his butt and sets it off? Now that's what I call a neighbor you want as a neighbor 5x a year and want to move the other 360 days.

I've been doing math lessons to calm myself down, but I just hit "Integration using completing the square and the derivative of arctan(x)" and I didn't like derivatives of sinusoidal functions at all other than sine and cosine so I think I'm gonna take a break for now.