"Have you slept?/Are you sleeping?"
Like, ever (for the first)? Yeah. Of course. It might have been a few days since I stayed asleep longer than 90 minutes at a time or slept past 3am, but yeah, I sleep. I slept a whole eight hours. It took four days to do it, but I did it.

"Are you eating?"
Yeah, I am. Pretty sure I'd be in really bad shape/dead if I weren't. I am I eating enough? Am I eating well? Am I eating daily? Those are different questions.

"What have you been doing/what are your plans?"
I mean, I could spend an hour explaining the things I do daily and then adding in the extra bits I do occasionally and then the one-time things that have happened. I can tell you my plans, but that doesn't mean that's what I'm necessarily going to do unless someone else is counting on me to do it and I'll be fked if I don't (essentially appointments, meetings, groups, planned get togethers with others, med monitoring, paying bills, responding to certain phone calls, etc.) so I don't really see the point.

"Are you safe?"
Uh, no? It's a dangerous fking world out there. I live in a "safe city," but I've been sexually harassed or intimidated (except I was about to jump off a bridge in a mixed state and can have a strong "if looks could kill, there'd be a lot less people in the world because of me" ability, so I think I out-intimidated that dude that day) 4 times in the past few months. I don't know if when I'm crossing the street someone's texting while driving, runs a red, and will hit me. I don't know if the last person that sneezed around me is patient zero for some new incredibly fatal disease.
I know they mean "are you going to harm yourself?" if it's from a mental health provider, but how tf am I supposed to answer that? I might be right now, but that might change in 2 minutes. I might not be right now, but I might be if I can get through the next 10 minutes.
I know they mean "are you in immediate danger from a violence stand point?" if it's a police officer, but again, I might be right now, but that might change the second I stop talking to you, and that might have been a different answer 10 minutes ago.

"Are you using any substances?"
From Definition of substance - Chemistry Dictionary
Hell yeah. Always. I am made of substances for crying out loud.

Come on, people, ask questions that will give me a chance to explain things better. "Have you slept?" "yeah" "Are you eating?" "yeah." Doesn't mean I'm not struggling with either. "Are you safe?" "not really." Doesn't mean I need help, it just means I am a person living in a world where things happen and some are dangerous things.