This man threatened physical harm to you and has treated you very poorly. You owe him nothing, not your attention or your time. I wouldn't speak with him at all if I were in your shoes, and I would cut him out entirely. He is toxic. Your mother is definitely love blinded and is not seeing the toxicity or is in denial of it. And she did not protect you from him during the pandemic when he made that threat right in front of her. Sorry, but your mother is extremely misguided when it comes to this man and to what is a healthy or toxic relationship. Your mother doesn't sound very stable herself given her own comments about dying after you turned 18. Those are words you don't say to your child. The entire family dynamic is toxic, so no wonder you have rage and anger in you. The key now is to get yourself to a healthier place... did the therapist give you any suggestion on how to channel your anger and to deal with it? Do you journal or write every day to get your feelings out? Could you write this a-hole a letter, letting out ALL your rage and anger at him, and then NEVER send it? I would give up on trying to convince your mother of anything. And honestly, I think you need to see that your mother has toxic traits as well as this man she's with. They're a hot mess.

Go live your life and find things you enjoy doing, is my advice as well. Don't let this crap swallow you whole. Get out there, get active, be involved and live. Do healthy things for yourself, and exercise self care - do physical exercise to get your energy out. Run, jog, or go to the gym and take your anger out on the pavement if you jog or in the gym. Physical activity helps keep you sane. But don't let your anger eat you alive. That won't do you any good. And maybe try to find a better therapist.

Sorry you've had to experience and go through so much pain. I was bullied as a kid and as an adult, so I can relate to how you may feel. Victims of bullying have to learn how to take their own power back and to stand up for themselves. You don't have to continue being a victim. Walk away and distance yourself from ALL toxic people. That's how you win in life. I'm 54 and have been around the block once or twice.

Forgiveness is really more so for you to heal than anything else. You don't have to forgive him if you are not mentally there. You can acknowledge what he's done to you, accept it for what it is, not condone it, but release the rage and anger... at some stage.

Not sure if this helps any.. take whatever helps and leave the rest. Best wishes to you!!