The way you describe it @CANDC is very evocative. It sounds like there was a challenge to share mental space together, but I'm sure he benefited from your obviously thoughtful approach. I remember my grandmother's face in the nursing home, she was definitely not quite in the same world as I was.
I'm so struck by your last sentence: "The challenge for me was letting go of the hope that he would accept me just the way I am inside instead of wanting me to be the child he dreamed of." It sounds like you let go of your desire to be accepted and instead ended up accepting him. This is something I've been thinking about a lot in relation to my own father, whom I've had a lot of ...animosity?... towards for most of my life.