Thank you for your support and reassurance.
The last thing I would want to do here is trogger any of you.

A friend?
Oddly enough...seems just lost my one and only friend in a horrible and juvenile argument, a " text war" with my ex who was supposed to have been my only friend in this huge horrible city.

A pet?

I had to.let my precious sweet beloved kitty. Sam,go 4 years ago.

He had diabetes and Hugh bl**,d pressure.
Had to give him insulin and b/,p meds twice a day...he got sicker...it was one of the hardest things zi have ever gone through

And no, as the adopti9n applications always ask," Who is your " back up" person?"
Well.
I haven't anyone.
I cant afford quality food, vet visits.

I have long3d for a pysch service dog but it takes years and a lot of money I do t have to be able to be granted one.

I feel like everywhere I go people expect me to have all these " supports" that most people are blessed with.

And like I am at fault for not having them, especially due to.my stigmatising BPD dx.

I'm sorry.
I really am
I sincerely appreciate your effort to help but my circumstances make recovery, such an illusion.

I don't even think my pyschiatrist has any full.50.mi use sessions booked for me anytime soon.
He js away tomorrow and Tuesday so can't even call and tell him how badly I am.struggling, how a decades long relationship just ended for good.

I am broken.
I have nobody.

I live way below the poverty line.

Ok.
I am whining.
Forgive me.

Been such a bad day.
Only just before 4 PM.

Tired.