Dear @blueteef Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing as I know it can be very difficult to talk about this stuff. The weird thing is that sharing your personal journey helps not only you but others who are here already.

It's good that you have ways to get around the unpredictable phone reception. Hopefully after your initial consultation you can move to in person in order to have a more reliable connection.

The best I can tell you is that it is possible to get through depression. Sounds like you know this already but keep it in mind as it also sounds like this is a particularly sharp detour in your life. I share your reluctance for medication, and depending on the situation some healthy skepticism can be helpful. If it's been a few months and you haven't noticed a change, I would bring it up with my doctor. When I was on antidepressants they always started on a lower dosage first before increasing the dose to a more effective level.

I'm sorry for what you're going through. I know that anything someone can say could possibly sound like empty platitudes but maybe you're willing to see through that.