Thank you for your kind words, the whole thing have given me identity issues across the board. I feel like a victim, but as a man i feel like a fake for being a victim. And then on the flip side i feel like i just want attention because i cant really relate to people, so im left wanting for acceptance in the background. Then when i can rationalize getting help i ultimately dont deserve help. I havent contributed anything to humanity, didnt go to college because i didnt have the money. Beyond burned my bridge with the one person that i felt like actually understood me. Thats been 7 years or something, and im just stuck either missing her or missing feeling something; im not sure which it is at this point.
Sorry for my syntax, and im truly glad your family is as close you are. I think my parents just ended up with a messed up kid its not their fault im like this