Cheating is wrong..... But you were a KID!

My kids have experienced being cheated on in ways worse than you described doing. I can't hate the offender, because they're a KID. And them doing that at 14, 15, or 16 isn't indicative of the type of person they are going to grow up to become.

NONE of us make consistently good decisions when we're that age. For some it's decisions about sex, for some it's about risk taking, for some it is about substance abuse or alcohol abuse, or any variety of other things.

Feeling that you have to punish yourself for it is wrong. Own your mistake. Apologize. Become something better in the future. That's it. Let it go and grow.

And I'm not convinced you loved that girl. I think you had strong feelings for her, and you were bonded to her by sex. She pressured and coerced you past your sexual boundaries. People can end up feeling bonded to someone over that, but that isn't love.

Love is easy and relaxed.

Be gentle with yourself.

RDMercer