I agree with the wisdom you've already gotten.

One thing that might make it difficult, and it's pretty much already been said, but you may be judging a very young you by standards that you've developed as your psychology has matured. You're currently a much different, and more mature, person than you were when that happened.

It does sound like you felt coerced into this situation, and that you could have some lingering trauma as a result. That happens to a lot of people, regardless of gender.

Regrets, unfortunately, are part of life too. All people, whether kids or adults, make mistakes sometimes. Anyone who says they haven't made a regrettable mistake in their lives is either a liar or completely out of touch with reality.

When it comes to regrets, they're things you have to live with, so processing them, accepting that they're part of you, and then going forward unwilling to repeat the mistake, is potentially the best you can do. That doesn't mean that the thoughts don't pop up and haunt you from time to time, but you can learn tools that help you move past getting stuck on it for too long.

If you don't have access to help from a counselor or therapist (I dont either), you could try looking for YouTube videos or books that might offer some guidance on putting traumatic regrets to rest. There are some really good resources out there, though sometimes it can take a few tries to find someone who seems to be offering the right insight, information and advice.

And you do deserve love. What happened was an event, and not who you are as a person.