I'm thinking I should amend the title to say: 'Navigating my Therapist's Bereavement'

So the session immediately following T's husband's death was okay, a little weird but okay. Then we had a week's break, which I admit I struggled with. I did message her and received an emoji reply, which kind of let me know she'd read it and understood. I hadn't expected a proper response and was okay with that.

Then this weeks session happened, and it was absolutely sh!te.... No one's fault, just how it was. Despite having had 2 weeks to prepare, I felt totally unprepared; possibly because I was dealing with a shedload of anxiety due to being worried about how she would be, how the session would be, me overthinking it......

Despite T saying she felt up to working, she was obviously tired and I felt as though she didn't really want to be there (but I also know that she wouldn't have offered the session if she didn't want to). Yet I'm thinking perhaps it would have been better if she had taken some time off, at least until the funeral was over. Now I have to sit with how it left me feeling for the next 2 weeks, knowing I can't contact her.... and even when we resume on the 17th, wondering if she's going to be in the right frame of mind to do it....

As T has said she feels up to working, I should (in theory) be able to be honest with her and say how difficult I found our last session, but realistically, how can I...? Yet if I can't be open with her, that introduces a new level of difficulty into our therapy relationship. I know I don't need to 'protect' her, yet it feels rather mean and disrespectful to bring up how bad I felt after this week's session, knowing what she is going through.
Whilst I want to trust that she knows her own capacity for coping and being able to work, I'm also wondering if perhaps she's not the best judge of that right now....​

I should clarify that I don't want to have an enforced lengthy break unless there's no other option and my preference would be to keep seeing her for as long as she's okay with it, but I am wondering if it's doing more harm than good.

If you've made it to the end of this, thank you for reading, and anybody's thoughts or insights would be welcome.