I have had the same problem with L: her being so open, but I’m not in the position to give care. And to also not know whether to be completely open or not about my feelings when she is going through something difficult.

I don’t have an answer except to follow your gut and if you decide to open up, do it in baby steps if you can. Test the waters to see how it feels to you and how she react.

L has been through 3 deaths with me. Two were old age. One was unexpected. The unexpected one was when she took a little time off. Weirdly, I was affected the most by one of the other ones. It was her grandma. She died just before the first baby was born. I cried when I found out that she never got to meet the baby. L was actually surprised and didn’t understand. She grieved for all of them, but the older two were a little easier because they lived good long lives and she was able to be there for them. Anyways…

Death affects people in different ways. You kind of have to trust them to create their own boundaries and way forward.