Hugs, Scarlet. I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now. You mention failing other people, but what if you flip that around and think about how other people have failed *you* in your life, going back to childhood? Maybe you're just doing the best you can. And you seem like a very caring person (I know you've given me support on here many times).

Like Lost said, you're still fighting. Maybe the one treatment you're trying will start to help, or the other option that you haven't tried yet (TMS, I think?). I know it's hard to hold onto hope--I've struggled with it as well. But please try not to think of yourself as a failure. You're fighting a battle that's more difficult than most people fight, and you're still here. And you're supporting others in the middle of it. You have value and you are not a failure.