I was dumb and bought a scale today. I'm going to return it tomorrow, maybe even tonight. I get weighed every Wednesday when I show up for med management anyway, so I don't know why I bothered with a $10 scale from a discount store that's probably not even accurate anyway.

I told my therapist I was struggling a lot with eating, especially being more active these days, and she just kinda said "I know you'll tell me when you need to go to the hospital. Yeah, you did all these self-destructive behaviors, but you called the emergency line so that shows you're trying." She asked if I was trying to eat, and I said "yes" because I do eat and put a lot of effort into the little bit I do manage, but I'm not trying to eat enough. I should've clarified that.

I feel quite in crisis right now honestly. I don't even want to call the emergency number because (I think my CM is handling calls right now for one) and they'll think I'm doing good because I'm calling. Which is kinda the opposite of what it means, but whatever. I'll come up with my own plan. I'm at the library so I'll read a few chapters of my book, do some journaling, and work on some of the DBT worksheets I assigned myself this week.