Hmm... I haven't actually hired the lawyer yet. We'd have to sign a fee agreement. His advice is to wait another week and see how my symptoms shake out. While i was busy this past week with details, reports, phone calls, emails, investigations, and appointments, i did fairly well, aside from being all over emotionally.

But now this weekend, and especially today, with time on my hands and nothing to distract me, i am feeling the PTSD at last. I think i am partly having this delayed reaction from being a trauma survivor too, where it wasn't safe to react in-the-moment as a child, and i am in the habit of staying calm in a crisis and only allowing my emotions to surface later, in calm privacy, where it's safe.

Yes, Unaluna, there were steep disadvantages to getting social with the person who harmed me. There were some good things, like i learned how such a baffling incident could have happened, and that it was accidental in nature. He was also the one to tell me that security cam footage of the impact existed. I've requested a copy, and that they preserve their copy as evidence in the event i DO launch a lawsuit.

I've sent myself flowers! They arrive tomorrow morning. I sent myself a Get Well Soon balloon too! I can't wait! Everyone is intimidated by the situation, so i have not received any well wishes, and i have abandoned my relationship with my one close neighbor, as she revealed herself to be the manipulator that she is, on behalf of HER best friend who is on the condo board.

I'm not currently in contact with my sister, who i visited last month. We have some philosophical differences, and i am not sure we will ever get past them. She believes what is comforting, while i believe what is true. It seems impossible.

So, i have no support, except for here and the crisis phone line. That's okay, i've been thru tough things before. I'll just withdraw to my home for now, perhaps forever. It doesn't matter. For as long as i like!

It's not that i'm having physical trouble seeing due to a physical injury, Unaluna. It's that i am having trouble seeing things due to PTSD symptoms of intense distraction and inability to concentrate. I have to coach myself thru activities of daily living, and yet i still wander away from tasks or go into rooms forgetting why i went in there. Trouble focusing, i guess.

Well, i have lots of time to heal. It's a bit unfortunate that my neighbors are renovating now. They started on Saturday and the noise of the demolition was deafening and severely triggered my PTSD. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow, when it will start again. They work early, from dawn to mid-afternoon. I have my noise-cancelling earpods, but i urgently desire silence.

I have online contacts in to my doctor and lawyer and will hopefully connect with both of them tomorrow via phone. I have posted a "Do Not Disturb" sign on my door and am screening calls, and have blocked the man who harmed me. I won't have any further social contact with him.

I have two years to file a lawsuit, so there's no urgency to make decisions immediately. I expect my PTSD will be a long-haul illness, so it is likely i WILL file a lawsuit, but it will be hard to quantify my suffering. It's not like i'm experiencing lost wages, as i'm already on disability benefits. It would be stressful to prove pain and suffering that is not physical in nature, and discouraging to have only a token award. Ten grand would be worthwhile tho. I feel a five-figure award would be amends for the negligence that caused my suffering.

The hits keep coming in the days and nights of Jane.