I started another thread a while back with the title "No Obvious Problems"... but there is something I'd like to work on.

Basically, I can just be rude to people - people who don't deserve it. I feel guilty about it, and I can see where it causes me problems.

The most recent issue that came up was when I was rude to a few people in the cardiology department of the hospital where I go for treatment. So now it appears to me that I've gotten the reputation for being rude, and the personnel, some of whom I haven't interacted with before (and some I have interacted with before) treat me rudely in a way that suggests they're getting even.

I think there is a reason for the way I'm acting - but not an excuse. The reason is that in the past I've been treated poorly by people treating me for the same issue (atrial fibrillation) and I have a hard time trusting that the medical professionals won't treat me poorly again. (in the past they blamed me and interrogated me for a condition they thought I did to myself - when in fact I'm just someone who apparently has a genetic pre-disposition for atrial fibrillation).

I can see a pattern of being rude to people as a defense mechanism - I've been hurt before and I don't want to be hurt again. It's not working though... my reactions just cause more problems. And of course the people I'm dealing with in the present do deserve the benefit of the doubt.