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My mood is okay, but it's filled with so much need and wanting. I am sitting here reading the comics he sent me along with sad love songs. "Words Get in the Way" by Gloria Estefan is on now, and I just remember how he used to describe himself as an "aging romantic" - there are just so many words I want to say but I hold myself back, afraid of saying too much, even though it aches deep in my heart.
One day I will be in love again, I crave it so much. The loneliness overwhelms me, hurts me, and I hurt myself so much because of it. I am sick to my stomach with the pain. I couldn't go to my Legion of Mary meeting today because I am afraid of crying too much and having someone see, and I feel bad about it.
So many things are slipping through my fingers - I did go to the AA Party today and learned some more about Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob. They had pizza so that was good. It was good to get out, though it was way too hot. It's too early for it to be this hot.
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