But the person you describe and his behaviors sound sadistic. You were also severely triggered. That tells us that something is severely wrong. You saying it is upsetting you so much that you wanted to harm yourself is an alarm bell.

I have my doubts that there are no other abusive behaviors.... I'm not trying to upset you, but is it possible that you are unaware of what more subtle abusive behavior looks like? Often it can be VERY subtle, and can occur practically undetected. Such as mean, cutting, put down remarks disguised as "jokes' for example, or controlling behaviors disguised as "meant to help you".

I am skeptical given what you've already described. Let's say with the tablet example - you had your tablet, yet he lied and told you you didn't and that you were asleep when you weren't. He is lying to you, and knowingly - what would be the purpose of that? To make you feel crazy. And to tell you he is concerned about you? That is him setting you up to appear to be incompetent; the gaslighting is preparing you.

Gaslighting is a form of abuse. Given that alone, I personally think you owe it to yourself to examine it further and not brush it under the rug because he apologized. You also need to look at the fact that he knows it's hurtful - yet he is doing this to you repeatedly.

Again, I don't mean to upset you but I suspect a lot more is going on here.

How long have you been married/together?