I found out that F died today, ( the person I worked with for 10 months maybe two years ago).

I haven't been able to stop crying since I found out in the car on the way back from spending the day cleaning my sister's place in Brighton.

I had a feeling to message him a few days ago, but I didn't.

I feel so guilty because I really hated him, because we ended so suddenly and didn't repair the rupture, but he was still there for me when I needed him.

I deleted everything. All the sessions which he let me record. I can't find any of my messages to him on insta either.