Just reading your reply to another post on this thread, I fully accept that your perception is that you feel some people were laughing at your posts and/or being harsh in their response. I totally accept that this is how you feel, and that these feelings are valid to you at the present - 100%

I'm not in your shoes, and I can't possibly imagine what you are going through at the moment - no one can. But, some of the feelings you have mentioned here resonated with me and my past. I have been in a very bad place where my perceptions were that everyone was either laughing at me, being harsh and cruel in their dealings with me, or just determined to bring me down as a person. At that time, those feelings were real and valid to me - 100%.

I had also reached the point where Fortunately, and I can't remember the specific trigger for this, I sought and received professional help. Over a period of several years, I was able to meet several counsellors who gradually enabled me to understand why I was feeling the way I was, and to help me get back to a healthy place. For me, this wasn't a quick process, and there was no quick fix. I think I was very lucky in reaching a point where I was open to being helped, which happened to coincide with getting to talk to people who could reach me and could help me.

I truly hope you are able to find someone in life who can connect with you and help you. Looking back, I can see how desperately unhealthy my thought processes were then, and how that resulted in me being in a terribly bad emotional state - but as with all things this is easy to see with hindsight, when you're there in the moment everything seems so bleak.

I think what I wanted to say is please don't give up seeking help, from whatever source you can find.

Jeff.