I have some restless, anxious anger coming and going today. It's triggered by two things: I had yet another vivid dream that had me back in the abusive organization I was part of when manic and a rough phone call with my mom. In general the call wasn't ideal, but I also keep having to defend myself/convince her that I'm okay with how my summer vacation is going despite not doing much. This in itself isn't necessarily the end of the world, but the act of having to defend myself triggers memories/emotions from my not so great childhood. Walking on my walking pad was a 30 minute distraction so that was nice. I also went on a drive for a bit. I wish I could go outside, but it's over 100.

A good thing from today tough: I haven't gone to a meeting with the volunteer group I checked out at my church in awhile. I missed a few and then anxiety was stopping me from going back. But, I have a window to get back involved again! I think it will help me have the courage to actually go to the meeting this Monday.