@MuddyBoots - I'm proud of you. Now you know you CAN do it. I hope you keep trying to push yourself in regards to your ED since it sounds like you'd have to be dead from the ED before your treatment team will do anything about it! Recovery is possible, hard as it seems even without an ED treatment team. I came back from a very low double digit weight without ED treatment; it's not ideal but I think on the one hand because I recovered on my own it's one of the reasons I've never slipped that far back into the ED since (some blips here and there yes, but nowhere near that dire again ever). Definitely I should have been in the hospital at the weight I was because it was bad, but my parents didn't have medical insurance (in college at the time) and couldn't afford it, and I never let on just how bad it was to my mom or my sisters.