You’re walking a tightrope. I know you want your family to approve and be included, but in the end, only you know what’s right for you. I don’t think I’d have as great a problem with my parents and siblings as I would with my children. Since they are the most important people in my life I don’t know what I’d do in your situation.

If you know that this man will enter your home (or his) and be kind and considerate to your children, then things should work out fine. And if he’s willing to join your family knowing that the kids are going to give him grief and he’s willing to take it on with eyes wide open things should level out after the initial declaration of war by the teens.

I’m assuming (based on his age) that his children are very young. You’re going have to deal with his ex for a long time to come. And the first thing he should do is go to court and get set visitation.

I don’t envy your position, but I do wish you both the best of luck.