I think my kids are triggering me a lot at this point, especially my oldest. When the fear and anxiety starts to emerge it is very hard not to react to it. Today my oldest was hanging on me, for what ever reason he was wanting and needing a lot of hugging while I was trying to play a game with his brother. I found myself feeling choked, claustrophobic, and pulled in multiple directions. However this time I caught myself in the process of getting agitated and was able to focus. I gave him some direct attention, several really strong hugs, a peck on the cheek, finished the game and then took a break in another room. I hope this was enough to meet his needs for a while.
I don't want to think about what things are going to be like when he actually reaches his teens.

I'd like a nice trip to the beach right now.