I know, there were no guidelines when we were brought up. We got beatings, and that's just how it was. Even up until the time I was sixteen if we missed behaved we got the belt. I think I turned out fine I would never say I was abused. When my children were young (as some of them still are very young). I would smack them on the hand. One time I caught myself; I smacked my son on the bottom and said don't hit your sister, keep your hands to yourself, meanwhile I just contradicted myself. More and more you hear not to spank your kids, and that's the only way we were taught so what the heck do we do? I asked my pediatrician and she said one minute of time out for how ever old the child is. I basically have to sit next to my son when I put him in timeout because he won't stop trying to get up. I don't want to spank them, I don't like yelling (it doesn't faze them in the least bit), time outs doesn't seem very effective. I do use positive reinforcement (but there are very limited circumstances). I want to do the right thing and more and more I'm starting to think that spanking is not right. I spoke to a friend of mine that works for DYFS and she said that spanking is aloud as long as you are in control and you use an open hand not an object or a fist (obviously), but still I wonder. I hope now one thinks I'm a monster I'm want to parent my child the right way and if there are truly negative effects from beating or spanking your children then I don't want to use that method of discipline.

Thanks for all of your responses they are all very good suggestions.