To be fair I think "warm day" in NH before the summer reading challenge party even happens has a different definition than a "warm day" in TX. I meant to go to the grocery store closer and take the bus back (3 mile walk), then wanted to see how much further the one I liked was (about a mile further away), didn't feel like taking the bus so walked back, but didn't want to go home really so took the long way and there was a dude that was having some difficulty after a leg injury close to where I live so I got him some water and a snack from a store for and made sure he didn't want any other assistance so that added the last little less than a mile.

All I'm saying is I felt okay until I started eating more (choosing stuff like chicken, mangoes, tomatoes, salmon, etc.) then Monday after eating more like that I was not okay in any way physically or mentally and by the night time if I was totally honest when I called the emergency line they 100% would've sent out EMS and I probably would be up at the state hospital looking at wet bread and pink chicken and having to pay $ I wouldn't have on me if I wanted food that didn't give me food poisoning under the assumption they actually give me privileges to leave the unit for once, but I'm usually not one of the lucky bastards that are allowed to go off unit anyway (and those options would be like overpriced coffee and bakin'egg'n'cheeses).

I know how this is going to play out. I can start eating normally and get so frustrated I break a mug or plate and kill myself with it, or not and be hospitalized, but not to an ED unit, I'd just get medically stabilized (if even needed, idk, I feel fine now. Actually kinda frenetic. Like, so much energy I RAN to the fking store for something, realized I forgot something and came back, then went back again, then ran back. Like, took 30mg of Valium and even skipped my stimulant, but still am ready (right now of course, tomorrow morning may be different) to cover all 14 miles of trail tomorrow for volunteer day if no one else shows up) but be sent to the state hospital, and get worse and come out and kill myself because I really cannot tolerate another day in the ER dungeon or another ride to Concord or another day of sitting on the fking unit listening to someone go on and on about the struggles of being born in "the silent generation," or I could not get caught in time before the medical stabilization became super necessary and die anyway.

Unless my immortality theory is right, then I never have anything to worry about.