It sounds like the judge was projecting her own feelings rather than paying attention to the facts. This is what a fake dramatic narcissistic individual plays to to get what they want. This is why your wife showed up unannounced at you home and called the police. This was a set up so she could play the victim and sobb in court wanting the judge to think you are the bad guy.

Your wife is not only a substance abuse user but is a very selfish self serving person. People like your wife live in their own make up world where they believe their own lies so they basically self brain was. This mentality develops in early childhood and once this develops it becomes who the person is and there is nothing you can do to change this.

You have actually made a lot of progress from when you first started posting and so determined you could somehow fix this, “only if”. You are now seeing the reality and have slowly been taking a stand for yourself. You had to slowly break away from your long time role of being a codependent.