Yesterday or maybe this morning idk twice someone asked me if I needed to check in with someone today and both times I said no, but I called about an hour or two ago (or 6, but it was dark) to the emergency line saying it's probably not the worst idea I've had in the past 24 hours. I haven't gotten a call back so idk if it just didn't warrant one or if no one had gotten the message.

I feel like if I'm open I'm going to end up hospitalized. I might anyway just because of the results of the weigh-in yesterday, but I'd really rather not. I feel like half the problem is I can't sleep because I can only sleep on my side but I can't sleep on my side because every time I'm on my side I feel the nurse and guard's hands pin my body down. I'd rather not go back to the scene of the most recent crime, ya know?