Wow, so brave of you Free1!. I think it's wonderful that you felt safe enough with T to open up. My guess is that she already knows or at least suspects, but I bet she'll be really glad you were able to open up to her more.

Whether or not you stay with her, this experience is still making you stronger and I think it's awesome. On the other hand, I so totally understand your anxiety over it. I don't think you should just stay shut up though. That's what we were programmed to do. Don't tell! But it's not true.

My brain has an injunction on telling anyone anything. T and I get around it sometimes by writing or drawing because I wasn't told I couldn't write or draw it out. Even so, when T reads stuff and then says something about it out loud, my brain goes into overload.

It took me several years to trust that my T was safe. I understand how hard it is to trust. I'm glad you're posting here. It helps me to see that I'm not alone in how my brain handles things. I don't talk to anyone in my 3D world about this outside of T so it's nice to have a place like PC to come and see I'm not alone.

I hope you won't stop going to a T. For me, I think it's been very helpful having that support and someone with knowledge of what's going on with me.

Brava to you for telling. I hope you keep posting. Thank you so much for being so open with us. You're helping a lot of people by letting us know what goes on for you.