I was right I guess about a specific BMI/weight being my pdoc’s cut off because yesterday I had an IEA filled out. I went to the ER, eloped because in the waiting room the team member with me said he had to leave so I left too, police found me and brought me back in handcuffs, they did an EKG that just said I had some shortened wave that I looked up and “is common in athletes and people with PTSD having fight-flight reactions” (and can be genetic). Blood work was fine (I had time to go home where I ate everything that would’ve gone bad over the next two weeks before my doc filled the paperwork which caused an insane amount of pain so threw up just until it didn’t hurt and ended up with I guess nothing crazy in my bloodwork).

They didn’t even weigh me and put some BS number down so they couldn’t even say I was dangerously underweight. Like, ended in a 5, no decimal, could tell it was “we’re done with these BS IEA’s” right there.

The IEA didn’t mention shyt about my eating other than binging/purging and I’m like “yeah, I did that twice recently—when my therapist no called/no showed and when I got threatened to be hospitalized.” It referenced stuff the ER KNOWS is essentially my baseline, non-emergency for me stuff, and stuff that happened BEFORE I was last on an IEA.

So, yeah, I spent yesterday on the run, the night thinking about how I’ll die when I get out of the state hospital because I cannot tolerate one more inpatient stay, and today coming home and cleaning up.