Okay, the DBT homework I assigned to myself was the Practicing Radical Acceptance worksheet, and for the opposite action I registered for an online eating disorder support group, which I have to wait until August to start, but whatever, I did something recovery-focused.

I have a feeling I'll get actually admitted before dying because my body is fking invincible and I will mentally shatter going back to the ER even if it was just like the other day where they saw I had heart stuff a lot of people in a fight-flight state have (I looked more into it just now and it actually is common when someone is normally bradycardic for whatever reason even if in that moment their heart rate was higher than average resting, like say they had just sprinted half a mile across downtown and were experiencing severe anxiety).

So I guess in a way my shytty treatment team is so shytty that to avoid their punishments and me unsuccessfully frantically trying to die to avoid their punishments I did something good for 5 minutes today (I hope that made up for the months of restricting and near continuous binging/purging since the ER).