@JaneOnceMore Sounds like you're doing better today than last night. Sleep helps things quite a bit.

@raspberrytorte - I actually found the biggest hindrance to my creativity was the benzo I was on for 10 yr (clonazepam). Got off that and finally I could read books again and then draw and even take up watercolors. I'd love to get off Seroquel or onto a smaller dose at least but I don't sleep without it and I get psychotic. If you do lower your Seroquel, psychosis could become a big issue and any paranoia you have could worsen. Seems a plan to taper the benzo might be worth trying first? Even if benzo withdrawal is horrible, I know, it took me over a year to taper off clonazepam (I'd been taking it 10+ years), but I do feel in the long run it was worth it because at some point my anxiety and panic were not really helped by being on a benzo any longer, and now that I look back at it at the point when I was on 4 mg clonazepam/day, I had so many more panic attacks or horrible anxiety than I do now off it. I still do have anxiety and sometimes panic attacks, but it's less frequent. The key with getting off the benzo is a SLOW taper, I mean really slow, sometimes it feels like 2 steps forward, 3 steps backwards. But maybe you could wait on med changes until after you see the gyn and see what she recommends. Maybe something there could help. And I can't remember, have you had your vitamin levels checked by your PCP? Sometimes low levels of B vitamins can cause issues.

@LadyShadow - I'm glad to hear things are going well for you and that you are feeling more positive overall.

@MuddyBoots - Take care of yourself, okay? Do be careful with being in an ED support group. I just mean, I was in one once (an in person group) and I found all it did for me was make me feel more competitive with the others in the group - wanting to eat less than Jane, exercise more than Mary, self-harm more than Sally, wanting to be the skinniest (weigh the least) in the group. Even though numbers were not really allowed some things would get out especially after the session ended.

As for me, I'm having a laid back Sunday. I did an easy jog this morning before doing a curbside grocery pickup, reorganized the snack cupboard (threw away expired stuff and stuff no one had eaten in months). I read with the SAD lamp, had lunch, and I painted a croissant. I used watercolors in tubes again so I'm still learning how to dilute and mix colors on a palette. Well, actually, I didn't have to do color mixing for this painting, just dilution as it only used 3 colors. The croissant turned out a bit darker than I wanted, but it's not horrible either, and I had fun painting it. I just really, really do enjoy painting food and I'm not quite sure why that is.

((((HUGS)))) to everyone, sorry I can't address everyone individually in my post or I'd be here all afternoon typing an extremely long post.