You're right, she's probably not herself in the cases you mentioned, but it doesn't give her a free pass to say what she wants as @raspberrytorte mentioned.

It might be helpful to not pursue those difficult discussions too far. Maybe only go to a point and gently redirect if it starts to become too intense.

It can be hard to self regulate especially when overwhelmed internally and externally. It is a skill your partner will have to learn at some point (self regulation), because that can lead to a big improvement in quality of life.

Maybe consider, down the road, an IOP program. She'll learn practical coping strategies, meet others also learning to cope, and she'll be home every night which is very helpful.

Otherwise, ask away! There are a lot of experienced people here!

(I just realized I assumed your partner is a woman! Sorry, if that's wrong)