My mom is really abusive but she denies it. My dad doesnt really care much but he knows the pain. He tells me to just study. I become anxious and end up not studying. Lacking parental support has been a nightmare for me. I go to therapy weekly. And am planning to go to a support group this sunday, hopefully every week. My mother says that God will punish me for how I am behaving towards her and she is right, if she doesnt discipline me, obviously God will let the consequences come somehow, no parents to talk to, stress, not enough money, etc. She will get disciplined too. But staying is much worse. I wish I could reframe it as a friend. My therapist certainly said mom is a friend to me now. Which means if my friend called me a ***** like my mom did, maybe I wouldnt have gotten offended. But if my friend tries to pull apart everything I own I might not like it. She asked me to return the money spent on my education. I moved to a dorm to study. I cant study. My brain has holes in it right now. If i had parental support and guidance i would not need to navigate an abusive mother who says she is just teaching me. I want her to find a new daughter, or enjoy her older one. She herself said that she is happy to believe she has only one daughter which is my sister. That is her way of showing anger. They are allowed to talk about abandoning me, by saying dont come home if youre gonna be so difficult. But i cant talk about leaving forever. I am really hurt that people are not understanding me. God understands me. If I study I can but my mind is heavy like lead. What could I possibly study. Why would I study. What will I do. Anyway I need to earn so I will try.