Hi All , Im Dean, aged 42. Im having a very terrible time coping alone in this world. My Parents passed, no bros or sisters.

I have a very difficult wife, difficult is a very mild word. My wife keeps blaming her awful behaviour on others(My parents when they were alive, now she blames her parents), its been 15 years and she just does not want to take responsibility for her behaviour. Professionally she is growing very rapidly. Personally I feel she is degenerating at the same pace.

We have not slept together in 10 years. There is no intimacy whatsoever, apart from she gets me to massage her every night because she has a problem with her shoulders.

I am afraid if I talk to someone ill break down and not be able to function.

If things happen at home, not to her liking, and there is this nuclear explosion at home which affects everyone in the family, I have to then suck it up, and just take the brunt of her anger repeatedly to prevent these explosions. She is verbally abusive, and demeaning to another level.

These are taking a toll on my, mental health now and I cant seem to shake it off anylonger.

She throws a fuss every time I want to meet my friends and support the ones who helped me though my tough times. However always, she wants to socialise with her friends. She criticizes her friend too , not like there is any one she genuinely likes.

However in front of others she is a frail, super polite, always praising me type person.

I tried to involve professionals, she totally convinced them she is a normal loving person and the professionals turned on me. This has happened not once but twice.

I am really struggling , Im losing my drive to be happy in life.