HI, I am so sorry you're struggling. Sounds awful. My question to you is why do you feel you're stuck? Have you considered or thought about leaving the marriage? It sounds horrific - , your wife sounds like a nightmare to deal with. Abusers do not change. If you are waiting for changes, that is likely not going to happen. I would rip that bandaid off and I would start the process of divorce. Life CAN be happier and more peaceful - it doesn't have to be this way. The marriage has been dead a long time already. So why are you stuck?