So.. I'm trying now to come to terms with and accept my horrible past for what it is/was.. It's time for me to close the chapter and begin a brand new one - perhaps even a new book - the sequel to my life. My first half of life was fairly miserable due to so many abusive relationships and situations I've faced. I've had many life challenges.

So the first half of my life I view as being excruciatingly difficult - yet also combined with many spectacular, once-in-a-lifetime experiences. I've hiked the Himalayan Mtns., I've lived on an island in Greece, I've lived in Dublin, Ireland, as well as all over the United States. I've been blessed and feel very privileged to have had many unforgettable, life changing experiences.

So it hasn't been ALL BAD - but mainly bad for the last 25 years at least. And as a kid, I think I suffered from depression. I was so insecure and unsure of myself. I followed my sister and her friends around like a puppy dog until I was 19 years old. That's when I went to Nepal - at 18 - and that's when If first felt true confidence in myself and independence and autonomy from my toxic upbringing. It was in Nepal that I discovered my true self - and I loved that person.

That's who I want to be again, if I were to go back to a former version of myself. But I cannot undo the horrific and abusive past 25 years of my life. I can only go forward... and I want to take that younger, more innocent and pure self with me. She had a girlish and childlike excitement about life - that's what I want back...

Anyways, I am focusing on letting go of the last 25 painful years to open and start a brand new book of my life.

My life is far from over and I have much more to accomplish before I go. I want to look to the future with optimism. I want to experience joy even through the difficulties I am having right now with my boss at work. I want to overcome and come out on the other side, a happier and more peaceful person. I want to let go.