So, after much reflection, I've come to the answers myself and probably better than a therapist could, to be perfectly honest.

I believe the last therapist I saw thought I may have a personality disorder. He honed in on various conflicts I've had with people over the years and clearly wasn't seeing my perspective or side of things. He also put me down several times in our sessions, so I felt the need to clarify and stand up for myself.

That was the final straw for me with therapists. For some reason, the universe is closing that door on me repeatedly, so I believe the universe wants me to come to my own answers.

And I have. I am starting to see a glimmer of light through the darkness of my life. Yes, my life has been most challenging. I've had an inordinate amount of challenge thrown my way... and I personally believe more than the average person will face in a lifetime. But I keep standing up, again and again and again. Fall down seven times, stand up eight, as they say.

I'm like the Phoenix Rising. I have overcome SO much.

For the last couple of weeks I've been feeling sorry for myself for having dealt with so much trauma and abuse. The one thread that I can weave throughout those experiences is my will to overcome and achieve my goals. I fought my way through those challenges each and every time. It takes strength, stamina, determination, and courage to fight for your self respect, happiness, and place in life. And I fought.

So, I've fought very hard to get where I am today. And I am not going to let two toxic witches drive me out of a good job. My job is a real resume builder. The longer I stay, the better it looks to other future employers.

If I am dying of misery after HR's investigation is over, I will start looking for jobs in the Fall. But I sure as hell am not giving up now. Not when I've won each battle I have had to face to date in my career.

If I can make it past the two-year mark in my current role, which is this month, I will be happy enough. I've been laid off/let go FOUR times in the last SEVEN years. I need stability and longevity on my resume.

And, if I can say it here, I am really good at what I do. I am highly skilled and am an expert in my industry so to speak, with nearly 15 years of dedicated experience under my belt. I know a lot from independent studies and certification courses, and I have many achievements. I also happen to enjoy the work I do, which helps.

So this witch, my boss, is not going to drive me out of the company as she hopes. NOPE. I am fighting for it, for my right to be there and to exist.

I don't know WHY I had to have so many challenges in my career and romantic life. I suppose I had to learn and to grow. I suppose it was meant to strengthen me - to what end I do not know.

But I do feel stronger now than I have in the last couple of weeks. My strength is rebounding, and it feels wonderful. Only a couple of days ago I felt so hopeless and in despair. But I pray to God nearly every day and am carrying the faith that God is fighting and winning my battles for me. It's my faith that is pulling me forward and out of the pit of despair I was drowning in.

Call it God, call it your higher power, call it the universe, or whatever - but I believe we all need to believe there is something far greater and far more powerful than us. And I believe all will end in my favor. I am going to hold onto this belief and my faith.