Good morning , I slept well. Dissociated most of yesterday but woke up feeling better. So far.

I walked to the library to return a book and get some new books. It’s hot out but I’m glad I took a walk.

Thursday they’re having a BBQ here. Idk if I’ll go or not. Part of me wants to just isolate away from everyone.

Tonight I’m helping my neighbor/friend (Papi’s previous owner) order her groceries. I called her this morning and she said she ran out of eggs so I offered to give her one of mine since she just needed one for an egg sandwich. So I went down and gave her an egg.

I woke up to both cats in the room with me this morning. Papi laying in the bed next to me and Mustachio laying on my dresser in front of the bed.

I’m trying to be more physically active. I got on the treadmill yesterday but I didn’t stay on long, only 15 min instead of my usual 30 min, because I started dissociating and didn’t want to trip and fall or something.

There doesn’t seem to be a way to predict when I’ll dissociate. Some days it doesn’t happen at all other days it happens all day or part of the day. It’s annoying because I basically go non functional when it happens so it can wreck a day and I just end up on the couch staring off into space or scrolling endlessly on my phone to distract myself from it. And sometimes it triggers panic attacks on top of the dissociation. Which is fun. Not.