I woke up from the worst nightmare, saying outloud, "I'm not good at anything." I hope my husband didn't hear me. I got up and had a vape and drank some green tea, and now I'm sitting on the couch, in the living room, and feel like sorrow and grief and I guess depression is crushing me. It's making it hard to breathe.

I just feel like such a failure. And I feel like a drain on my family, and the past couple of days I've started isolating. I've accomplished nothing in life. COMPLETE FAILURE. The grief is weighing heavy on me and feels like it needs to come out. I'm scared to go back to bed because I dont want to have nightmares again.