I've had it with a neighbor who is like Jekyll and Hyde. One time he ignores me. Not others, just me. Next time he's warm and friendly. I know he's going thru a hard time but if he doesn't respect me and isn't mature enough at 55 to be civil, i don't want to know him.

Had a good morning, moving around the city, but being ruthlessly disciplined about shutting out irrelevant stimuli, especially keeping my eyes cast down and away from peoples' faces. It worked great! Downtown i pretended i was deaf and dumb, and ignored the vendors' manipulative overtures, and motioned to items i wanted, and refused to use my voice.

I changed into a pretty sundress and sunhat in the afternoon, and sat outside in the garden in the warm Summer day drinking a cold beer. It was almost comical how magically men responded to my pretty outfit, one guy holding the gate for me, another saying "It was a pleasure to see [me] as always," when he never seemed to particularly like me before. Summer!

I realized that this recent five-month-long episode of high mood, which is still unravelling six weeks later, is my first in menopause, and that is likely why it was so intense. I've joined the "We Do Not Care Club" on TikTok for women in peri-menopause and menopause. The leader gives announcements on things women don't care about anymore. Like i wore a simple flowered Summer nightie and moccasins to the gym in my building (i had it all to myself) and didn't care. It's pretty and comfortable and i do not care anymore!