For the past few days, I have been completely overwhelmed with this anxiety that seems to have come out of nowhere.

I've had an anxiety diagnosis since the age of 16, and being 33 now, I've had an abundance of different types of treatment. I like to think of myself as a bit of an expert on my own anxiety these days, knowing the triggers, the warning signs, and most importantly, how to keep myself calm.

I've also had depression for a significantly long time too, and I've always found that to be so much harder to manage. Depression, to me, is like a grey cloud where you can't find any answers. Anxiety has always felt more like an equation that I can try to solve. More often than not, I can figure out what is causing my anxiety, and then I can try to tackle it. Sometimes, however, like this particular instance, I can't figure it out at all. This current bout of anxiety is attacking me at all angles, leaving me with very little energy to try to "solve" it.

As I'm typing this, I have an overwhelming desire to burst into tears and allow myself to collapse into the feeling, but I'm trying not to resort to that. I don't want anyone around me to have to get themselves involved when I don't have any answers myself. The last thing I want is to spread that frustration to other people.

I'm hoping that by writing this out, I can at least relieve myself a little bit. I'm going to keep using the well-known techniques; the deep breathing, mindfulness, meditation, etc.

Thank you for reading this if you did, I don't expect any replies, I think I'm just trying to find comfort in babbling to myself. Much love.