Maybe this isn't a very smart thing to do, but I truly hope it helps. I'm Razzleberry's brother. One of our other sister's read this post and let us know how you're feeling. I thought it might be useful to reply to your post because this forum is obviously a place you feel you've found friendship, so I hope you'll consider your brother a friend as well.

First off, I know I can speak for the family that you have not been disowned. We've been very shocked at the seriousness of what we've learned the last little while. I know I had no idea the problems you have been dealing with for a very long time. I can't help but think I should have noticed the signs earlier and been more helpful over the years.

Anyhow, I want you to know that I love you. As a family we've prayed that you'll find the help you need, learned what we can about bipolar, called and e-mailed you and each other many times, tried to help you protect yourself from some addictions and made plans to come visit you to help you and your family deal with your illness.

I know this hasn't always been the case, but I hope that you feel comfortable talking with your family about this. I think the first thing you need to do is start loving yourself. Then I believe you'll realize that your family loves you and can begin putting your life back together. Good luck and remember how many people are hoping you'll get better!