Hi Clarity

You are never too old for therapy... and by the way, being in your 40's isn't anywhere near old.

Perhaps a part of the issue is that you didn't stay with any one therapist for very long, and perhaps you didn't have a good match of a therapist either. I suspect that if you would have had an effective therapist who was a good match with your personality, then you wouldn't have felt the need to switch around so much.

On the other hand, you might have ended therapy with each therapist prematurely, prior to revealing what you might have thought was too much, avoiding speaking about the painful issues that had plagued you as a defense mechanism. I'm just taking stabs in the dark here, and I might be totally missing the mark.

Have you considered any self-help books? I read a good book called "Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You" by Patricia Evans. It's about all kinds of control issues that people have--- like you mentioned your sister. It seems on the surface that your sister uses you to take care of her kids so that she can avoid responsibility. She knows that you won't say no to her when she wants something. Your sister exhibits controlling behavior. Perhaps your parents do as well so that you will be their caretaker? Perhaps others also goad you into taking care of your parents so that they don't have to?

I'm just making my best guesses with the information you provided, and it doesn't mean I'm right about anything.

I would suggest child protective services be called on your sister if she is abusing and/or neglecting them (when and if she takes the kids from you).

One thing's for sure-you have a lot of complicated issues going on, and I think if you found the right therapist and stuck it out awhile, you will get better. You might do well on medication too, and that is something the therapist can help you make a decision on.